Forgetting someone you loved deeply isn’t like deleting a photo or unfollowing them on social media.
It’s messy, painful, and a slow process.
And sometimes, it feels absolutely impossible.
You don’t miss the person, you miss the version of yourself that existed with them.
You miss the memories, the dreams, the comfort, and the thought of what life could have been.
But forgetting someone isn’t about erasing them.
It’s about finding yourself.
Here’s how you can start.
1. Accept That Forgetting Takes Time A Lot of It
Heartbreak isn’t a switch; it’s a process.
People get stuck because they think they “should have moved on by now.”
There is no deadline.
Your heart needs time to detach, to heal, to rebuild.
Accepting this truth is the first real step.
2. Stop Searching for Closure From Them
Closure doesn’t come from the person who hurt you.
It comes from understanding, not from explanations.
- You don’t need their apology.
- You don’t need their last message.
- You don’t need their reason why things ended.
The moment you stop expecting closure is the moment healing accelerates.
3. Cut Off All Contact Completely
This part is brutal, but essential.
- Stop checking their social media.
- Stop stalking their stories
- Stop texting “just to check”
- Stop reading old chats
Every contact reopens a wound that is trying to close.
Distance isn’t cruelty, it’s self-respect.
4. Remove Emotional Triggers
You can’t forget someone while:
- Keeping their photos
- Holding on to their gifts
- Revisiting your spots
- Listening to “your” songs
These things anchor your heart to the past.
You don’t have to throw everything away, just remove what pulls you backward.
5. Replace Memories, Don’t Fight Them
You can’t erase memories, but you can overwrite them.
Do things that make you feel alive again:
- Travel
- Change your environment
- Surround yourself with light-hearted people
- Learn something new
- Pick up hobbies you ignored for them
The mind moves on when it has new experiences to hold onto.
6. Write Everything You Feel. Let It Out
Journaling is therapy.
Write:
- What hurt
- What you miss
- What you learned
- What you wish you could say
When emotions come out of your mind and onto paper, they lose their power over you.
7. Stop Romanticizing Them
Your mind will keep showing you the highlights.
The good days.
The laughs.
The chemistry.
The affection.
But remember:
You are trying to forget them for a reason.
Don’t forget the lies, the distance, the confusion, the inconsistency, the pain, the nights you cried waiting for their reply.
Healing begins when you stop editing the story.
8. Forgive Yourself for Loving Them
People don’t regret love; they regret what the wrong person did with their love.
You didn’t make a mistake by loving deeply.
You made a mistake by expecting the same depth back.
Forgive yourself for:
- Giving too much
- Staying too long
- Hoping too hard
- Ignoring the red flags
- Believing in their potential
Forgiveness frees your heart from guilt.
9. Understand That Losing Them Is Not Your Failure
Most of the time, the person we love is not the person we’re meant to be with due to various reasons such as:
– Wrong timing.
– No Feelings and vibes match.
– Sometimes they simply weren’t capable of the love you deserved.
Letting go doesn’t mean you lost.
It means you grew.
10. Rebuild the Relationship You Have With Yourself
You can’t forget someone else until you fall back in love with yourself.
Ways to reconnect:
- Treat yourself kindly
- Take care of your body and mind
- Set new goals
- Invest in your dreams
- Surround yourself with people who genuinely care
When you start valuing yourself again, their memory naturally fades.
11. Accept That Moving On Doesn’t Mean You Never Loved Them
Moving on doesn’t erase love.
It simply means you decided to stop hurting.
Some people leave, but they leave lessons behind:
- What love should feel like
- What respect looks like
- What you deserve
- What your boundaries are
- How strong can you be
Healing is not forgetting.
Healing is remembering without pain.
Conclusion
Forgetting someone you loved deeply is one of life’s hardest battles.
But you won’t feel this way forever.
With time, distance, and self-love, the memories will fade and the pain will soften.
One day, you’ll wake up and feel lighter, not because you forgot them… but because you finally remembered yourself.
FAQs
1. How long does it take to forget someone you loved deeply?
There’s no fixed timeline. Some heal in months, others in years. What matters is consistent effort.
2. Why do I still think about them even after months?
Because emotional bonds don’t disappear with time, they fade slowly with acceptance and distance.
3. Should I stay friends with someone I’m trying to forget?
No. Friendship slows healing. You can reconnect later, but not during the breakup phase.
4. Will I ever love someone again like I loved them?
Yes, you’ll love differently, not less. Wiser, healthier, and with more self-respect.
5. Why does it hurt so much even if I know they’re wrong for me?
Because emotional attachment doesn’t follow logic. Your heart needs time to detach from the idea of them.
